Second City Homework

Okay, so I had to write ten jokes. Here they are, in all their (non) glory. Let me know if you like any of them.

• A new button has surfaced at the Democratic National Convention, Hipsters for Obama. That’s a change from supporting that candidate you’ve never heard of.

• Canada has launched a new digital currency called the MintChip. No word yet on the other 31 flavors.

• The Democrats have brought in Kal Penn to do the rebuttal to Clint Eastwood’s RNC speech. Penn aimed his remarks at an empty bong.

• This week was the first annual cat video film festival. Everything was going great until the closing ceremony, when someone snuck in a laser pointer.

• Wyoming has taken its grey wolf population off the endangered list which is terrible news for the Wyoming Lannister population.

• Last year, Obama ran on the Change campaign slogan. This year it’s “Change. Spare change?”

• Hurricane Isaac washes up 18,000 dead swamp rats. Honey Boo Boo commented with “Them good eatin’ right thur.”

• Snooki released her first photos with her newborn son, Lorenzo. You can find his new cologne at Babys R’ Us and Macy’s.

• Turns out the speakers at the Democratic National Convention mischaracterized on their speeches. That’s what you get when you use Joe Biden as your factchecker.

• Fantasy Football season has started. It’s a perfect time for fantasy football players to pretend they aren’t roleplaying.