This week, I reached 10,000 tweets. A milestone, to be sure. And, as I sit on my bed at 1:30 in the morning, scrolling through random interactions and swift, stilted conversations, I noticed that my life is playing out 140 characters at a time.
So, here’s my tribute to the best tweets of my 10,000 tweet run:
1) New York City has put a ban on the sale of sugary sodas over 16 oz. This may be the lamest excuse for a speakeasy ever.
On Domestic Strengths:
2) I will now refer to cooking as “pulling off a major coup.”
3) Lack toast and tolerant. This describes me right now.
On the Record:
4) @taradublinrocks Hoho! Nice.
I’m not really sure what this was in reference to. Use your imagination.
5) The *meh* Gatsby #lessinterestingbooks
6) Nobody likes Hemingway. Not even Hemingway likes Hemingway. He shot himself in the face.
On Pop Culture:
7) This tweet just made you remember that the Friday song happened.
8) The NFL referee lockout is finally over. Officials are optimistic, believing everyone will be back to complaining after the 1st quarter.
9) You know you’re perpetually single when you shave only one leg and think: “Meh. Close enough.”
On Social Media:
10) My development of a social life is inversely proportional to my Klout score.
So, there you have it. The greatest hits of my Twitter feed.
If you aren’t following me already, check it out. Maybe we’ll, you know, tweet or something.