Twitter Updates

• The elevator or, as my dog calls it, the teleporter. 21 hours ago
• If the #Picard show was just 6 half hour episodes of him playing the flute, I’d be okay with that. 22 hours ago
• Thanos: I am inevitable. Them: Hi, Inevitable. I’m Dad. Me: Dammit, Dad. #endgame #dadjokes 22 hours ago
• Love #Chernobyl’s merchandising. https://t.co/BMU7Kqkb9M 1 day ago
• Studio apartment: $1200/month Utilities NOT included. WiFi password is Starbucks bathroom code. instagram.com/p/Bx0s9j8pL0T/… 1 day ago
• Me at CVS Cashier: “Do you want your receipt?” Me: How many feet? Cashier: https://t.co/FKEjLPrrPX 1 day ago