1. Nine Planets
Pluto was downgraded to Dwarf Planet in 2006. Be on the look out for the modern fairy tale Snow White and the Seven Dwarf Planets.
2. Mail on Saturdays
Beginning in August, the US Postal Service will no longer deliver mail (letters, catalogs, and the like) on Saturday. The plan will save $2 billion a year. Kudos.
3. A 7 time Tour de France
Lance Armstrong stripped of his titles. Doping. Have you been under a rock?
4. No asteroid mining
Not one, but two companies have unveiled plans to mine passing asteroids. The two companies, Deep Space Industries and Planetary Resources, have plans to send mining operations to objects hurling through space. Good luck, asteroid juicers.
5. Landlines/telephone poles
Well, they haven’t gone away yet, but I’m pretty sure birds will have to start finding a new place to perch soon.
6. Dial up Internet/Internet without social networking
As per 10-15 years ago, if you were on the Internet, you were either on AOL or Netscape (as of 2008, Netscape’s website basically says “Go get Firefox”). Also, you were a nerd if you were on the Internet. Now, everyone and his dog has a web presence.
7. CD’s (or, dear God, tapes)
I remember my first CD. My Best Friend’s Wedding soundtrack.
The moment I wake up,
Before I put on my makeup!
8. Physical newspapers
What will we paper mache with? What will we line the table with when we carve pumpkins?
9. OJ Simpson jokes
Kids these days. Won’t even know who he is.
Replaced by the much more powerful whiteboard, projector, and AV department.
While cleaning out my closet, I found something.
Round, shiny objects with holes in the center. I’m not exactly sure what their purpose is. They are called, “Compact discs”.
That’s right. I discovered my high school collection of CD’s. It’s possible that I bought one or two in college, but I doubt it.
I’ve been known to rock out to some old school Britney Spears. And, N*Sync circa ’99? Forget about it. Everyone thought the world was about to end, but we were more concerned with Bye, Bye, Bye.
I remember the Christmas when I got my first discman. It was a life-changing experience. I listened to music almost constantly (still do). It wasn’t long until I wore out that first one and had to upgrade to a Sony Sport Discman, the one with the big lock on the front. The one that the tank could drive over…
Now my hard won albums will be making their way to Half-Price Books, to fulfill someone else’s collection. Here’s a look at the big ‘uns.
1. The Bubble Gum
All the essentials. Genie in a Bottle, …Baby, One More Time, Say My Name. Do you remember Destiny’s Child? You know, back before Beyonce put a ring on it?
I don’t know if I would say I wore these albums out, but they definitely found their way to my ears on more than one occasion.
I even had the N*Sync Christmas album. That’s made you popular in college. Well, if you hung out with the right people.
2. The Rebellion
I had my Korn period. My Nirvana phase. My *cough* Limp Bizkit phase. Hey, I was young. And, I was at that impressionable age when all that stuff gets pushed into your head.
Anyone up for a Nookie lyric rap battle? It’s in there. Right behind Gettin’ Jiggy Wit’ It.
3. The Essentials
So, maybe I made a few questionable choices, but you can’t call me completely tasteless. My mother grew up on the Rolling Stones and Motown, which means I did, too. As a result, I’m a diehard Jagger fan and the Beatles can kiss…nah, the Beatles are all right.
Forty Licks, Janis Joplin, Jackson 5. They all stack up.
4. The Soundtracks
Oh my God, I did not realize how much of a soundtrack junky I was until I stared into the box. Harry Potter, Star Wars, Lord of the Rings, Titanic, Moulin Rouge, Sound of Music, Singing in the Rain. I started to dip into musicals there, didn’t I?
I’ve transferred all this stuff to my computer and forgotten about it. It’s time to share my music collection. The gems (Dresden Dolls) and the not-so-awesome (N*Sync/Britney combo that came with a Happy Meal).
I like to think my taste in music has evolved since then but turn on Livin’ La Vida Loca or Mambo no. 5, and I’ll be on my feet in no time.
Do you have any guilty music pleasures?