10 Things to Tell Your Kids (or Grandkids) You Had Back in Your Day

1. Nine Planets

Pluto was downgraded to Dwarf Planet in 2006. Be on the look out for the modern fairy tale Snow White and the Seven Dwarf Planets.

2. Mail on Saturdays

Beginning in August, the US Postal Service will no longer deliver mail (letters, catalogs, and the like) on Saturday. The plan will save $2 billion a year. Kudos.

3. A 7 time Tour de France

Lance Armstrong stripped of his titles. Doping. Have you been under a rock?

4. No asteroid mining

Not one, but two companies have unveiled plans to mine passing asteroids. The two companies, Deep Space Industries and Planetary Resources, have plans to send mining operations to objects hurling through space. Good luck, asteroid juicers.

5. Landlines/telephone poles

Well, they haven’t gone away yet, but I’m pretty sure birds will have to start finding a new place to perch soon.

6. Dial up Internet/Internet without social networking

As per 10-15 years ago, if you were on the Internet, you were either on AOL or Netscape (as of 2008, Netscape’s website basically says “Go get Firefox”). Also, you were a nerd if you were on the Internet. Now, everyone and his dog has a web presence.

7. CD’s (or, dear God, tapes)

I remember my first CD. My Best Friend’s Wedding soundtrack.

The moment I wake up,
Before I put on my makeup!

8. Physical newspapers

What will we paper mache with? What will we line the table with when we carve pumpkins?

9. OJ Simpson jokes

Kids these days. Won’t even know who he is.

10. Chalkboards

Replaced by the much more powerful whiteboard, projector, and AV department.