Second City Homework
Okay, so I had to write ten jokes. Here they are, in all their (non) glory. Let me know if you like any of them.
- A new button has surfaced at the Democratic National Convention, Hipsters for Obama. That’s a change from supporting that candidate you’ve never heard of.
- Canada has launched a new digital currency called the MintChip. No word yet on the other 31 flavors.
- The Democrats have brought in Kal Penn to do the rebuttal to Clint Eastwood’s RNC speech. Penn aimed his remarks at an empty bong.
- This week was the first annual cat video film festival. Everything was going great until the closing ceremony, when someone snuck in a laser pointer.
- Wyoming has taken its grey wolf population off the endangered list which is terrible news for the Wyoming Lannister population.
- Last year, Obama ran on the Change campaign slogan. This year it’s “Change. Spare change?”
- Hurricane Isaac washes up 18,000 dead swamp rats. Honey Boo Boo commented with “Them good eatin’ right thur.”
- Snooki released her first photos with her newborn son, Lorenzo. You can find his new cologne at Babys R’ Us and Macy’s.
- Turns out the speakers at the Democratic National Convention mischaracterized on their speeches. That’s what you get when you use Joe Biden as your factchecker.
- Fantasy Football season has started. It’s a perfect time for fantasy football players to pretend they aren’t roleplaying.