Bringing About the Apocalypse – or – Google’s Plan to Make Zombies
Posted on July 9, 2012 Leave a Comment
I’m convinced. Google is going to bring about the zombie apocalypse.
Either that or they’re trying to make the geek inherit the Earth.
If you haven’t been paying attention, Google has released several press releases talking about Google Glass. While they didn’t take my suggestion for their slogan (It’s a Computer…for Your Face!), Glass is something we can all get excited about.
Google Glass is a technological apparatus you wear on your face like, well, glasses. It’s like Blu-tooth with the smartphone integrated into the system. A forward facing camera allows you to interact with the icons.
The thing I find thrilling about this is that it basically gives you a heads-up display (HUD). For those of you familiar with gaming, first person shooters especially, you’ll know what I’m talking about. For those of you who aren’t, the HUD is stuff that appears on the screen while you’re running around your virtual world, like a map identifying threats, your health indicator, and other various things you should be aware of, depending on the environment.
Like this:
If you’ve seen Prometheus, they had this sort of interactive smart tech built into their helmets.
That sounds really cool, right? Gamers adapt to that within the virtual world, so, perhaps, that means people will be able to adapt in the real world and won’t be stuck running into a wall and not being able to turn around.
Hold the phone. If I’m so excited about that, what makes me think Google is trying to kill us all?
Not kill us, no. Cull us. You may have missed this article, too.
That’s right. Google Maps is now mapping interiors. You will be able to navigate inside buildings. This would definitely be integrated into the Google Glass display. It’d be like exploring a cave in Skyrim, except you don’t go in blind. It’s all laid out for you.
Partnered with this, I’m afraid Google is setting us up for an endgame. The early-adapters, the gamers, the nerds…they’ll have the upper hand. And, we know how this ends. The ones who are most prepared for the zombies are the ones that created them.
It’s the end of the world. You have your Google Glass, a 9mm, 50 rounds of ammunition, 3 health kits, standard shoes, shirt, jeans. Your objective?
It’s free roam. It’s open-ended. It’s adaptive.
And, you’re playing on hardcore mode.
Don’t forget to upgrade your weapons.
I Live Here Now
Posted on July 3, 2012 3 Comments
All right, enough with the boring writer stuff. Here’s a post about something entirely different.
I live in Los Angeles now.
In an apartment.
…with ROOMMATES.
The last weekend was a test of strength and endurance. I had everything delivered from Ikea and set to work building it.
I hate Ikea. If I wasn’t so busy, I would make it my life goal to destroy them. Okay, maybe that’s a little harsh, because the people there were very helpful, but dear GOD! I hate shopping. I usually make a list of the things I need and go in like a robot with a targeting system. I guess it’s because I don’t like people? But really, I think it’s more that I don’t like wasting my time. WHY ARE YOU WALKING SO SLOW!
Well, Ikea rant over.
I did the bed first. Not much to do there, just slap on the supports and flip it over. Then, I had to build the desk. Since it’s Ikea, everything was pretty straightforward. After the desk, I set up wiring and everything. So, here’s the bat cave desk.
I may or may not add a third monitor. Or television. Right in the middle on a wall mount. OMG, I’m drooling a little. But, NO! I live in a big city now. I’m trying to be more economical.
I had to build everything, but the thing I was most nervous about was this.
Yes, something I actually have to sit on. But, so far so good. Nothing to report. Everything’s working. I’ve even taken it to maximum height and leaned back with my feet off the ground and nothing bad happened. Also, this chair is pretty badass intimidating. It also comes in blue, for those of you looking to buy.
Wall went from this:
To this:
There was a note on the shelf that said, “This unit is meant to be anchored to the wall.” My response, of course, was: “Then guess what’s not happening?” followed immediately by, “Oh, yeah, right. Earthquake country.”
In an interesting twist, practically everything I brought that required shelves fit into one book case. Now, I have about seven books that have no place so sleep at night, but my next bookshelves going to be pretty sparsely populated.
And now I have to build my final shelf for this wall:
My room is a good size (it was really small in the bungalow that was my second choice), and, I figure, since I work from home, I will be in here a lot.
One more box to unpack and I am officially moved in.
Warning: I am not an expert
Posted on July 2, 2012 Leave a Comment
I titled this post so you would understand that this is opinion and what works for me. If, one day, I get published, then maybe I’ll retroactively change the title. Until then, if you’re looking for expert advice, I be not the one to which you should turn.
I mean, Gawd, look at that sentence. What does it even mean?
But, dear Internet user, perhaps writer, perhaps good friend of mine or family member, I want you to take this to heart with the force of my sincerity behind it.
Please be very careful about whose advice you are taking, especially when it comes to writing. Chuck Wendig posted on his blog, “The Internet is 55% porn and 45% writers.”
The thing is: Not all of these writers are experts. You don’t need to listen to what they have to say. Even Chuck Wendig is full of shit sometimes. Only sometimes. He’s a good one to look at (plus, he has published books!).
I’m not often one to admit this, but writing is hard. There is no easy advice out there to help you write a book. There’s even less to help you get published. There isn’t a rule book, there isn’t a yellow brick road. The best you can hope for is reading about something that works for someone else and finding out that system works for you.
Here’s what works for me:
1) Write more better.
I got this one from A. Lee Martinez. It means write more and you will eventually get better. Or, writing more will eventually lead to better writing. I don’t know, but it means something.
There is a time to put aside a project that isn’t working and start something new. Don’t write one book and bank on that as the one that leads you to fame and fortune. Write more better.
2) Don’t expect fame and fortune.
Do you know how many authors are on the midlist? Do you even know what the midlist is? If you are a bestseller, congratulations! Honestly, good work! But, there are plenty of people who are published and still can’t quit their day job.
Be aware that your little book might not change the world. It might not get you published. It might not even get you an agent. But, if you follow the advice in point #1, maybe, eventually, you will land on something that resonates with enough people to get you published, agented, or off the midlist.
3) Finish it
You can’t keep it up forever. Slap an ending on that sucker, give it a round of revisions, and see where that leaves you. In the mean time, start thinking about something new.
4) Read
You can always improve. Read good books, read bad books, read magazines, read YA, read Stephen King. Read something and see if you like that style. Read something that you hate, but make sure you identify why you hate it. Keep looking for improvements.
5) Find critiques
Your head is an echo chamber. Sometimes, the voices of doubt, confidence, paranoia, suspicion, and anxiety bounce around so much, you lose objectivity. Give it to outside eyes.
I went to a public group that involved reading your piece out loud. There are plenty of ways to do this. Someone you trust to tell you the truth, another writer, anything. You need someone to look at your work to answer at least one question:
“Is it a book?”
So, yeah. I guess writing is hard for the simple fact that it’s not easy. You have to work at it. You have to want to improve. You have to do the thing that works for you and, if it doesn’t work, try something else. There aren’t rules, so much as guidelines.
If you try to take a shortcut, you might be disappointed with where the path leads.
Good luck. Be aware. Be careful. I care about you and want you to succeed.
A matter of fact – Los Angeles
Posted on June 26, 2012 Leave a Comment
I didn’t really start freaking out until Dad asked me to drive. It’s interesting how it’s easier to not be behind the wheel.
“Can you drive for a couple hundred miles?”
“Yeah, sure.”
For about the first hundred, I white-knuckled the steering wheel as all the implications of what I was doing roared up in my head.
I.
Was driving.
To Los Angeles.
I think I’m still sneezing out desert.
I’m sure some of you are sick of me talking about this, so I’ll keep it brief. I still don’t have a place to live, so this post comes to you from in between roommate inquiries. That’s where most of my anxiety is focused. After I get an apartment, I’ll find the next thing to lose it over.
Here’s a quick list about things in Hollywoodland.
1. Oh my God, the smell.
I know that sounds like a bad thing, but it’s not. Not at all. Los Angeles has this smell that’s sort of intoxicating. We got to the hotel, which smelled like Indian food, then we opened the door and…
Oh, my God, the smell. It’s maybe the beach? California? Pot? Is it pot? It might be pot, but it doesn’t matter because it’s here and it’s everywhere and it’s delicious.
2. Places
Between Yelp, Foursquare, and the maps app on my iPhone, you never lack for places to go, and you always know how to get there. Dad keeps asking ‘What’s the address?’ and my answer is ‘It doesn’t matter. You just ask the iPhone and it knows.’
There’s a coffee shop (Bourgeois Pig) that stays open until 2 am on weekdays, 2:30am on weekends . Yes, please.
It has a forest room, too.
Last night, we got pizza for dinner. Along the strip of road were 4 coffee shops, 3 pizzerias, 2 pinkberry’s, and a partridge in a pear tree.
3. Walking
You can walk places. There are places that you can walk to. I suppose my standards weren’t very high when I decided to move. I wanted a city where places didn’t close at 10 pm every night, a city where you could walk. I’m still really excited.
4. Time zone
I have no freaking idea what time it is ever. If you get a text message at some weird hour, I’m sorry. I’m just confused. And, I don’t go to sleep until strange times, either. So, if you get something from me at WTF-o’clock, just pretend it came at a normal time.
On the other hand, I don’t think Dad is enjoying himself. People drive crazy, things are expensive. He is less likely to get swept up in this place than I am, so I’m trying to be patient. I appreciate that he came here with me, but I think he’s stressed in his own way.
Can you imagine he’s not comfortable in hipster/writer settings?
Well, off to try to get things under control.
Wanted: Evil Lair
Posted on June 24, 2012 2 Comments
Well, I did it.
I found the location of my secret evil lair.
It’s in New Mexico.
While barreling down the road at 80 miles an hour, you start to notice that vast expanses of New Mexico are apparently uninhabited. Everything has a rusted, used feel to it, and one wonders, “Did it ever look new?”
But, here are the good things:
- Sparse population means not as many people to ask questions about what I’m doing at the Evil Lair of Dastardly Doings.
- I’m not sure about the structural integrity of these hills are, but they have flat tops, which is perfect for helicopter landings.
- The climate is pretty predictable. If any weird weather stuff is happening, it’s probably just me testing my weather machine.
- Uranium mining.
- It’s sunny all the time and windy some of the time. Renewable energy can give me a cover story and the ability to go off the grid.
This was all looking very fine and good. When I do finally turn to the dark side, I know where to go after I get that boost from my Kickstarter.
But, I soon found a problem.
A big problem.
There aren’t any Starbucks in this whole freaking state.
Okay, that’s an exaggeration. There is an indication on the map of Albuquerque that such a thing exists, but, geez, that would be two hours away. Hence the problem with a sparse population. You are denied the comforts of more traditional population centers.
I suppose this is always an option:
What better way to hide your evil empire than behind a popular franchise? Isn’t that what everyone assumes anyway? Each minion would be required to work a morning and an evening shift once a week. They’d be able to keep their tips, too. I’m not that evil.
But, then again, maybe it’s too much work. I can’t bother with trying to please the man while I’m also trying to take over the world.
So the journey continues.
In the meantime, the next time you’re driving across New Mexico, remember there aren’t any Starbucks. And, if there are, be weary of the minion behind the counter.
The Thing about Fear
Posted on June 21, 2012 7 Comments
By all rights, I guess I should be scared out of my wits. That’s what I’m told, anyhow. I should be panicked and nervous, sweaty palms and all. I should be jumping at loud sounds, flight or fight mode shifted into full-blown adrenaline rush.
But, I’m not.
You see, I’m moving to Los Angeles on Saturday. I mean, if you’ve kept up with this blog, I know you know that already, but, yes, Saturday is the big day. And, I’m not sure if I’m done with everything here.
But, my parents have promised to ship it if I need it.
A contingency of my friends and acquaintances have told me I’m brave. Brave is defined as “ready to face and endure danger or pain; showing courage.”
Perhaps it is bravery. I don’t think the pain I will face is physical. I suppose the biggest danger is going hungry because I run out of money. I know a big part of what makes this maneuver brave is the fact that I am walking away from acknowledged safety and comfort and heading into the unknown, where hardship and uncertainty are assured.
“Into the unknown!”
“Yes, but unfortunately there’s this dirty great sea monster in the way. “
Several people have asked me if I’m afraid.
I’m not.
So, why isn’t fear a factor?
Fear was a handy emotion. Way back in olden times, it helped keep us alive when we were fighting the saber-tooth tigers. It is a stress response that allows us to act without thinking. Again, a handy-dandy skill when you’re facing something that’s about to eat you or trample you. You don’t have time to waste thinking, “I should move a little to the left.”
Fear still serves a purpose. But, it can also hold you back.
Quotables:
“I have learned over the years that when one’s mind is made up, this diminishes fear; knowing what must be done does away with fear.” -Rosa Parks
I want to write for television. There really isn’t anywhere else in the world that I can do that besides Los Angeles. New York comes in second, but it’s not (believe it or not) as easy to break into television taking the New York route. So, Los Angeles or bust. I’ve made up my mind. I know what must be done. I know it will be hard. I’m not afraid of working. I’m not afraid of failing.
But, I suppose, it’s just simply the fact that allowing fear to rule is never a good excuse. There are so many things that we could fear (worry is a state of fear), but it’s better to face it, take it head on. Conquer it. You can learn to control your fear response. Make the judgement. Is fear really helping? Or are you just a slave to years of living in caves worrying about being crushed by Og’s new invention “hawk blurg rugbug” or, as we commonly refer to it, “the Wheel?” It’s just mind over…mind.
As I head out to LA, be assured that I’m not facing my fear.
I’m fearless.
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